#1: 1993, as far i remember this was my first picture that was taken in a studio. #2: 1995, i think this time was real wonderful time for me. #3: i was getting tall and thin…


There was a sudden difference in usual life just for few hours. After 3-4 months I went to my village to see my parents. There were some noticeable changes. The muddy thin way turned into a concrete black pitch way and motor vehicle took the place instead of the rickshaw. I was bit upset watching all these developments. Life needs some differences… I don’t want to see all the boring modernity everywhere. I’ve spent some hours there all alone… under the full moon, overflowing everything with the moonlight and for the first time I realized the moon also has a ‘rise’ and ‘set’ time like the sun… when the sun sets in the west, at the same time the moon rises in the east. But I think it happens just for few certain days… I don’t know why. Well I got lot of time to think about myself… my past, present and future. I left my village 15 years back… I was just a homesick kid then. May be that was the actual beginning of the loop… I am moving around circles which are changing their diameter basing on the perspective of time. After 15 long years I found the same homesick kid just with a bit wider and more complex circle around him… is wishing whole heartedly to get back to the beginning… for a fresh start. But it’s impossible … he is in an own made loop which he possibly can’t break himself.

‘morning shows the day’ it’s a good proverb to me. everyday when I set my first step, i try to imagine the whole day and the good thing is it make some senses. i could imagine a rough sketch of the whole day at the very beginning. often it doesn’t match and mostly it happen with the good things, like sometime when I feel bore and everything miserable, a surprising call come from someone which brings some happiness… may be very small but important. sometime the negative things also happen. but it’s a chain reaction; like good brings the good and the bad brings the bad… sunday is always an unpredictable day for me. it’s the weekend for me and sometime i feel unlucky for that. all other of my friends got friday as weekend. so mostly i have to pass a lonely day and i became habituate enjoying the loneliness and normally i don’t want to keep any schedule for this day. it’s a full free day and i want to do whatever comes to my mind. sometime i pass the day just as a movie day; sometime i go to see my grandma, sometime meet some friends or sometime motionless- only concentrate on myself, try to hear what it wants to say. one of my friends called me few minutes ago and told me that today i am having a very good mood. it’s true I think…

Sunday, home, 22:35