photograph by palash. few more photos here

I didn’t go so closer to the sea before. Its something I can’t tell in words. I had some very weird feelings… I was thinking I am too close to meet my destination… it’s a chance. I was shouting to the roaring waves… take me with you. I don’t know or even can’t imagine for how long it’s jumping like a white horse… or the noises are expression of joy or anger. It’s monotonous but I think I can pass years just with watching and listening. After the sun set… i found myself alone… I can’t explain… its heart breaking but charming… that some kind of sadness you can enjoy. On the dark night with ‘one sky stars’ the sea seems really furious. Its dark but the sea is visible with reflection of stars. The next day when we were moving to another island ‘chera dwip’ by boat, the first realization that came to my mind is ‘I am nothing’… but when the boat start moving I realize may be ‘I am something’ as a part of whole mankind.

The Beach of Saint martin Island is something very different than the cox’s bazaar or chittagong. It was my first time I went there and definitely I was bit over excited. The photo I’ve added with this post got a weird inspiration for me. The person on the photo is me and whenever I see it I mumble ‘do it and die’… that’s a happy ending!

One thing should be noted… ‘do it and die’ is a warning message from one of my friend for those who are in love or in dream of love…

It was a moonlighted night and we were sitting on a street. The moon was not so strong to overflow everything with its puzzling light but it was nearly sufficient for drawing the footsteps. I was thinking… may be it’s a dream. But it was drizzling to make me awake and realize it’s actually not a dream. Before sitting on the street we have walked more than 10 km within 2 hours… walk without a destination. Actually when we started, we had a destination but soon we lost it. We were six in a group, it was midnight and no one of us knew the way where we wanted to go. It was a deep rural area… the way was muddy. First hour we didn’t even realize that we have lost our way. It was so exciting when we became sure that we have really lost our way. Somehow we had reached our destination… it was like discovering the highest peak of the world. Then we sat on the street… passed the rest of the night motionless… now it really seems that I just described a dream of mine.

#1: 1993, as far i remember this was my first picture that was taken in a studio. #2: 1995, i think this time was real wonderful time for me. #3: i was getting tall and thin…


There was a sudden difference in usual life just for few hours. After 3-4 months I went to my village to see my parents. There were some noticeable changes. The muddy thin way turned into a concrete black pitch way and motor vehicle took the place instead of the rickshaw. I was bit upset watching all these developments. Life needs some differences… I don’t want to see all the boring modernity everywhere. I’ve spent some hours there all alone… under the full moon, overflowing everything with the moonlight and for the first time I realized the moon also has a ‘rise’ and ‘set’ time like the sun… when the sun sets in the west, at the same time the moon rises in the east. But I think it happens just for few certain days… I don’t know why. Well I got lot of time to think about myself… my past, present and future. I left my village 15 years back… I was just a homesick kid then. May be that was the actual beginning of the loop… I am moving around circles which are changing their diameter basing on the perspective of time. After 15 long years I found the same homesick kid just with a bit wider and more complex circle around him… is wishing whole heartedly to get back to the beginning… for a fresh start. But it’s impossible … he is in an own made loop which he possibly can’t break himself.

the dying city. photograph by dev

Yesterday we went to sonargaon museum and panam city. It was my first visit there and I was really curious about this old historical place. Panam city was the capital of this region once upon a time. There are still some old buildings of that time standing. The buildings seem something like dummy for a movie comparing today’s structure. The famous one is ‘rajbari’ (palace) which I think the biggest one still surviving. We went there with a hope to take some pictures of it. But the gate was close with a notice hanging there ‘it’s a industrial restricted place’. We surprised… what kind of industry! Then we asked some people around about it and they told us that the palace now owns someone who set up a tyres factory inside it! We tried to enter the place but they didn’t permit. When we were looking the other buildings we find us so poor, so illiterate nation. It seems no one care about these ‘useless’ buildings. We are loosing our history everyday.

This time I became sure that mountains are beautiful during the rainy season. Everything seems clean and fresh that time though leaches could suck your blood. Its winter and the weather are dry and rough. We went through the same foot prints those we drew on last May [ read the previous story ]. But this time we were in a small group with less team spirit and less glamor. I had to fight lot to manage the time. I keep recalling my memories all through the way. We reached the boga lake by 29 December evening. We were prepared to face a hard cold but the weather was much warmer than the city. The home where we lived this time was a cool place than last time. It was very comfortable in every way. On 30 December some of our friend went to the peak of keokradong. We were out of all networks and that was the biggest relaxation. No regular schedule, no hurry, no boss, no computer, no mobile … drinking lake water, having tasteless same food in breakfast, lunch, dinner with a great eagerness, trying to enjoy every single moment. On 31, the sun set with great sorrow from sky of boga lake area. A deadly road accident happened on the way to boga lake, took a death toll of 4 persons. At the earlier night someone brought a dead cobra. He said it attacked him on the way so that he killed it. It brought lot of excitement to the tribal and as well as the tourists. They cooked the cobra and many of our friends took it with a great excitement. We set a fire and roasted a goat. On the first moment of New Year everyone start dancing, most of drunk till throat. The night grew older and moon started shining from behind the big mountains. That was the nicest part of the whole tour.

Next morning we got up with a spirit to walk 17 km way back. I walked the same way last time but this time it was too hard. The sun was burning all the time. Once it happened we finished the last drop of the water and had to walk another hour to find a water source. All tiredness came zero when I took a long bath in the river of sangu. It was a biggest achievement this time. Ruma bazaar is too known to us and we spend few useless hours there. Some of us wanted to get back earlier to banadarban. But most of us liked to stay motionless. 2 January, we start our journey back to Dhaka. There was a huge traffic jam on the way. It was a great time… but not so great as it was before.

Ok, I’ve learnt few things,

• >> He is a foolish who pretends to be a good, sober person all the time.
• >> ‘Out of sight out mind’ isn’t always true. Sometime you should go far to measure the depth of your sight.